I can say for sure that I don't like it. I'm the kinda guy that likes to know what is happening in life. I try to approach things in life with a game plan and have things under control to a certain extent, in that I can manage what is happening around me, at least where I am concerned. However, there are those times, I think, that life just seem to get away from you and leaves you choking in it's dust.
I'm not the kind of person that likes to struggle with things either. I expect of myself, to be able to get the job done and done quickly. I expect to be able to accomplish what I set out to do and then move on. I have proven to myself that when I put my mind to it, the task at hand can be achieved. HOWEVER; there are those times that I am proven wrong........(go figure right?)
One of the things I struggle is this, when I put my mind to it, I can do just about anything I want. It's a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because, over the past 15 plus years I have been serving in ministry, I have had the opportunity to do so many different things like; lead worship, play an instrument in the band, teach classes, serve on boards and committees, preach and deliver God's word. Counsel people, serve on missions trips, create and direct plays and dramas, art of various forms for the church, lead and develop tech teams, church plants....the list goes on and on. Because of this wide variety of experience, I can often get confused with what I am best gifted at and suited for. Herein lies my problem, I often refer to myself as a jack of all trades and a master of none....however as a friend recently said, I need to be a jack of all trades and a master of ONE! I agree 100%. That's why I went back to school. My question over the past week has been, what's my ONE?
I often question if I am doing exactly what God has gifted me to do. I ask this question of myself a lot because I always seem to have this feeling that God is preparing me for something bigger around the corner. Truth be told, I guess as a Christian we should feel that way right? As we grow, as we mature in the Word, we should be challenged on a continual basis to be living more and more for Christ.
Over the past week, I have done a lot of soul searching, asking myself what I'm passionate about, how am I naturally gifted and how does that work with my spiritual gifts...It has been a pretty enlightening week, and has helped me get my mind wrapped around what I think God has laid on my heart.
(Spoiler Alert) I'm not going to write it down here, because I am still sorting through a few last details, but I can tell you this. It feels good when you begin to understand how God has wired you and what kind of areas of ministry you might best fit.
I think it would be safe to say, and we could all agree, we are created unique. Each of us is different, with different personalities, different skill sets, different passions and gifts. I would hope that we could all agree that each of us was created for something specific. Ephesians 2:20 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (NIV)
I think the hard part is understanding how we are wired, what are our passions and gifts and natural talents? When we take time to sit down, organize and answer those questions, I think, at least for me, things become much more clear. I have a much better understanding of what my strengths and passions are, and that helps me get a better understanding of how God wired me uniquely. God calls us to be good stewards of what we have been given. I think that feeling I have had for so many years is maybe that nagging question.....Am I doing my best with what God has given me?
What about you? How has God wired you to serve Him? What are your gifts and passions? What are your strengths? And most importantly........What are you doing with them?
I would encourage you to take some time and ask yourself some of these questions. Make sure your are being a good steward of what God has entrusted you with.